New Years day is one of the key times that memories of Gareth will always warmly well up in me. Those memories will always include Shirley, Robbie, Gemma, Rhian and Clara their first dog too.
On a usual New Years Day, regardless of the night before, Gareth would be in the kitchen, chipper as ever, rustling up a fried breakfast. He knew this to be a proper treat for me as this is something we never have at home, as I live with Pamph; a pie and mash loving... vegetarian who has lived his life half heartedly seeking out the elusive veggie pie and mash! The life of a vegetarian east end boy is not easy! Gareth would revel in filling my plate with rashers of bacon, juicy sausages and black pudding! I never had the heart to say - I really don't much like black pudding.
Breakfast would follow an evening of Gareth being perplexed that I wasn't able to compete with his ability to drink and be merry until the wee small hours. Post pub there was always the annual "Strictly come Dancing" competition hosted by Robbie who delighted in curbing Gareth's competitive spirit by pairing him up with me. Robbie knew I turned on the dance floor like an oil tanker, which meant no way could Gareth win and the prizes were then up for grabs for everyone else! Gareth gamely took me on, ever hopeful that I had improved from the previous year; I only got worse! He saw it all for the laugh that it really was and we tripped the light fantastic (or mainly tripped) until we got chucked out of the competition which was normally straight away!
The normal proceedings were once interrupted by Gareth deciding he wanted to let the old year out and the new year in. He opened the back door and the only thing that escaped was Clara the dog. The rest of the early hours of new years day was spent with all guests out searching for Clara in the drizzle, climbing into other peoples gardens and shouting down alleyways until a couple of hours later she was found a few streets away! Gareth was relieved to retrieve her and would have easily carried on all night until he did.
One year I didn't arise for breakfast until everyone else was in the front room watching the football. I had missed my fry up but Robbie switched on the stove to let me cook up for myself. I had my breakfast but forgot to turn the grill off. Eventually somewhere in the second half, the smoke alarm went off in the hallway. It turned out the one in the kitchen was faulty, Gareth had never been one for DIY. By this time the flames were lapping out of the grill and the smoke was all over the ceiling. I tried to smother it with a tea towel that Shirl had been given for Christmas - sorry Shirley. I was mortified at the damage I had caused but there was no anger and both Gareth and Shirley saw it as a chance to repaint the kitchen and get a new stove, as it was broken anyway. No one died! Their ability to put things in perspective was always an education to us all. More materialistic people would have banned me from the house for ever.
They are both generous people and many years ago when I was considering a career change, Gareth put me in touch with their neighbour Deborah, who might be able to help. She ran a Market Research group and would run focus groups for the Labour Party. I thought I might like this line of work and she and her colleagues gave me useful information about how to get into market research. In the end I didn't go in that direction but the point was that Gareth would always look to help people out. He didn't have to do that but he always would. That generosity of spirit was ever present. I admired that, I admired his intellect and his accomplishments but most of all I admired him as a kind, warm and fun person. New Years Day will be a day where I will always remember him with fondness. It will be "Gareth Day" to me.
The last time I spoke with him was on a video call last last new year with Gareth and Robbie. What a double act! Robbie is however capable of going solo with his Dad's influence behind him, he'll be fine as will Gemma, Rhian and Shirley. I know they miss him terribly and always will. So really, my thoughts are with them especially through these next few weeks when first anniversaries abound. They are all a credit to him with their ability to keep strong and keep going, whilst they have had to face the future with a big gap in their lives. We think of the family often and we love them all. Cry when you need to all of you - but don't forget how to laugh. Gareth was fun - remember the good times! Lots of love from the RAC Lady (.. but that is another story and another long ago party) XxX Hilz XxX